Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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