I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
