the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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