You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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