put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
