He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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