go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I think my moral compass just broke
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
