I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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