spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
