please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
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