There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
