Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
