My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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