The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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