i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
