Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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