do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
