I think this baby is eyeing my beer
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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