i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
