I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
