don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
