so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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