there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
