How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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