If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
