The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
