hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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