My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Watching her eat just hurts me
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
that is very illegal...i love you.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
