I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
