ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
