the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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