My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
