he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
