singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
