Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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