Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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