he thought i was a dude.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He told me they were just razor bumps!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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