im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he wants to bone in the snuggie
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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