I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
