Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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