i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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