So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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