I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
