there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I cannot find my penis.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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