Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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