the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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