my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize