I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I need to calm my uterus...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
