There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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