barbara walters just said penis...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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