i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
