4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
