I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
