I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
