The maid of honor just puked.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
